- Θέλω να είμαι ερωτευμένη και να έχω όλα τα θετικά που έχει μια σχέση, χωρίς τα αρνητικά της.
The official language of blog is Greek so if you want to translate it, you must choose to translate from Greek to your language...
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Ελευθεριακή φάση ρε φίλε....
17-03-2014
Ούτε που θα μπορούσα ποτέ να φανταστώ πως μια συζήτηση που είχε περάσει στο
ντουκου τότε, θα ερχόταν ξανά στο μυαλό μου από διάσπαρτες και
διαφορετικές ιδέες μεταξύ τους, και να αποτελέσει εφαλτήριο για αναμόχλευση
σκέψεων στο μυαλό μου. Δεν είναι πως δεν μου είχε κάνει εντύπωση τότε, το
αντίθετο θα έλεγα, απλώς ήταν τόσο ξεχωριστή και ιδιαίτερη που το πιθανότερο
ήταν και είναι να βρει το συντριπτικό ποσοστό των γυναικών αντίθετες, όπως και
ένα μικρό (υποθέτω) ποσοστό των αντρών. Εμένα με είχε προβληματίσει ως συνήθως.
Η συζήτηση ήταν ανάμεσα σε εμένα και προς έκπληξη όλων, μια γυναίκα. Η
έκπληξη βρίσκεται στο ο,τι αυτή την τοποθέτηση θα την άκουγες κυρίως από έναν
άντρα. Το γενετικό προφίλ των δύο φύλων δεν δικαιολογούσε το πακέτο πληροφοριών
που άκουγα.
Το κεντρικό θέμα ήταν η γενικότερη δυσκολία της στον συναισθηματικό τομέα
και οι συνεχείς απογοητεύσεις σε σχέση με τα ζητούμενα της......
- Που βρίσκεται το πρόβλημα πιστεύεις?
- Δεν μπορώ να μείνω με αυτούς που θέλω, όσο θέλω, εξαιτίας αυτών που
ψάχνω.
- Τι ψάχνεις?
- Θέλω να είμαι ερωτευμένη και να έχω όλα τα θετικά που έχει μια σχέση, χωρίς τα αρνητικά της.
- Θέλω να είμαι ερωτευμένη και να έχω όλα τα θετικά που έχει μια σχέση, χωρίς τα αρνητικά της.
- Καλά δεν ακούγεται και τόσο εξωπραγματικό. Ποια αρνητικά εννοείς?
- Να μην υπάρχει ο έλεγχος, η ζήλια, η ανελευθερία, είναι πολλά.
- Μήπως ψάχνεις κάτι σαν την ¨ελεύθερη σχέση¨? Διότι αν ψάχνεις
κάτι τέτοιο, μιλώντας μου για συναισθήματα, σημαίνει πως θα
μπορείτε να κάνετε σεξ και με άλλους. Θα μπορέσεις
συναισθηματικά να το αντέξεις αυτό?
- Όχι δεν θέλω ελεύθερη σχέση σε καμία περίπτωση. Θέλω να έχω μια
κανονική σχέση με κάποιον που δεν θα τον περιορίζω και δεν θα με περιορίζει σε
τίποτα. Θέλω να είμαι τρελά ερωτευμένη, να κάνουμε τα πάντα μαζί, να μπορούμε
να συζητάμε οτιδήποτε χωρίς να φοβόμαστε και ναι, αν θέλει να πάει με άλλη να
πάει και το ίδιο κι εγώ.
- .....?!
- Να αφήνεις πραγματικά τον εαυτό σου ελεύθερο να δρα με τον τρόπο που
θέλει. Να μην τον περιορίζεις και να μην σε περιορίζει καθόλου, να είστε αληθινά
ελεύθεροι και ερωτευμένοι.
- .............?!
- Δεν μιλάω για παράλληλη σχέση έτσι? Αυτό είναι κοροϊδία. Μιλάω για μια
ξεπέτα, μια καύλα που είχε και τελείωσε, πέρασε καλά γιατί το γούσταρε και αυτό
ήταν. Δεν έχει σχέση το συναίσθημα με το σώμα. Πιο ελευθεριακή φάση ρε φίλε.
- .......................?!!!
Οι τελίτσες που δείχνουν την δική μου υποτιθέμενη
απάντηση σε αυτά που άκουγα, ήταν ακριβώς οι απαντήσεις μου. Τελίτσες. Μια
εσωτερική απορία για το τι ακούνε τα αυτιά μου από μια γυναίκα, που όμως
εκφραζόταν στα μάτια της σαν παντελή αδιαφορία. Νομίζω πως είχα απορροφηθεί
τόσο πολύ στις σκέψεις μου προσπαθώντας να αναλύσω στο μυαλό μου τις
πληροφορίες, που πιστεύω πως ούτε ένα μειδίασμα δεν θα φάνηκε στο πρόσωπο μου.
Κανένας ¨λογικός άνθρωπος¨ δεν θα μπορούσε να δεχτεί
αυτό το πακέτο σκέφτηκα. Απόλυτα ερωτευμένοι μεταξύ τους, σε σχέση,
απολύτως ελεύθεροι χωρίς να περιορίζει κανείς κανέναν και το
σεξ ελεύθερο στους πόθους εάν και εφόσον υπάρξουν. Τι λες τώρα?
Επικρατούσε σύγχυση στο μυαλό της άραγε? Ήξερε τι έλεγε? Μήπως ήταν σε κάποια
αλλόκοτη φάση της ζωής της που έλεγε πράγματα για εντυπωσιασμό ή πραγματικά
έκανε πράξη αυτά που έλεγε όταν είχε την ευκαιρία? Τα εννοούσε και τα έκανε
πράξη στο υπόλοιπο της ζωής της ή ήταν μια φάση που έληξε? Δεν ξέρω ειλικρινά.
Αυτό που ξέρω είναι πως με έβαλε σε σκέψεις.
Ας το φιλοσοφήσουμε.
Πάντα μου άρεσε να διαβάζω για το ανθρώπινο
είδος. Αναφέρομαι στην γενετική. Σε αυτά που ο άνθρωπος έχει σαν γενετικές
κατευθύνσεις.
Τα δύο φύλα έχουν σαφείς διαφορές σε πολλές
ιδιότητες τους, παρόλα αυτά το ανθρώπινο είδος έχει κάποια γενικά
χαρακτηριστικά. Να μερικές ερωτήσεις που έχουν αυτονόητες απαντήσεις.
Το ανθρώπινο είδος στην εξέλιξη του είχε πάντα
τις ίδιες αξίες για τις σχέσεις των δυο φύλων? Πως θα ήμουν αν
μεγάλωνα σε μια άλλη εποχή? Πως θα ήμουν αν μεγάλωνα σε έναν τόπο που
θα μου είχαν διδάξει άλλα από αυτά που γνωρίζω σήμερα, θα ήμουν ίδιος ή
διαφορετικός? Αν μου είχαν διδάξει διαφορετικά τι είναι αρεστό και τι όχι?
Αν μεγάλωνα σε μια κοινωνία όπου αυτό που έλεγε η φίλη μου ήταν η φυσιολογική
ζωή των ζευγαριών, εγώ πως θα λειτουργούσα? Θα με ξένιζε εκείνη η νοοτροπία ή
όχι? Αυτό που γνωρίζω σήμερα ως την πραγματικότητα μου, είναι αυτό που έχουν
δημιουργήσει τα γονίδια μου ή είναι αυτό που θέλησαν οι άλλοι να είμαι? Το
ανθρώπινο είδος είναι μονογαμικό ή πολυγαμικό? Αν είναι μονογαμικό γιατί οι
περισσότεροι ¨πολυγαμίζουν¨? Αν είναι πολυγαμικό γιατί οι περισσότεροι
πασχίζουν να είναι μονογαμικοί? Μέχρι να μην είναι.
Αυτό που γνωρίζουμε σαν πραγματικότητα σήμερα είναι η
εξής. «Έχεις κάθε δικαίωμα να είσαι όσο πολυγαμικός γουστάρεις όσο
είσαι ελεύθερος και δεν δίνεις λογαριασμό σε
κανέναν», μόλις όμως μπει ο άνθρωπος που θα ενώσεις την ζωή
σου, αυτομάτως αυτό το δικαίωμα χάνεται. Από δω και πέρα οφείλεις να
κατευνάσεις την πολυγαμική σου φύση γιατί τώρα φίλε μου ορκίστηκες αιώνια
πίστη και αφοσίωση ενώπιον του θεού. Ναι ξέρω, ξαφνικά το πήγα
σε όρκους και κουφέτα και το μπέρδεψα το πράγμα, αλλά και η σχέση ένας
μικρός γάμος είναι μπερδεύεσαι, απλώς ο θεός στην προκειμένη
περίπτωση δεν είναι ένας τρίτος, αλλά ο σύντροφός σου, κατά τα
άλλα τα ίδια ¨πρέπει¨ είναι. Για να επανέλθω λοιπόν, «από την στιγμή που
δημιουργείς μια σχέση, οφείλεις να είσαι σωστός και να την σέβεσαι». Να είσαι
μονογαμικός. Αλλιώς είσαι γουρούνι ή πουτάνα. Ε ? Αν βγάλουμε
τους συναισθηματισμούς από την μέση, αυτή δεν είναι η ψυχρή λογική? Μην κολλάς
στις λέξεις. Σκέψου το πραγματικό νόημα με ηρεμία και θα δεις πως αυτό είναι
το πρότυπό μας. Ενώ ένας από τους σημαντικότερους λόγους
διαζυγίων και διάλυσης σχέσεων είναι η απιστία, το ανθρώπινο είδος
στις μέρες μας ψάχνει να βρει τους λόγους που
οι ανθρώπινες σχέσεις πάνε κατά διαόλου σε
ένα μονογαμικό μοντέλο.
Και ξαφνικά ακούς τον όρο swingers. Swingers? Είναι αυτοί που τραγουδάνε? Όχι βλαμμένε, είναι αυτοί που κάνουν
ανταλλαγή συντρόφων. Έλα παναγία μου, τίποτα τελειωμένοι
ανώμαλοι? Όχι ρε, κανονικά ερωτευμένα παντρεμένα ή μη ζευγάρια.
Άνθρωποι νορμάλ, με νορμάλ δουλειές και νορμάλ ρυθμούς. Ζευγάρια που είναι
ερωτευμένα μεταξύ τους πραγματικά και που αντέχουν μπροστά στα μάτια τους να
βλέπουν τον σύντροφο τους με άλλον? Τι διαστροφή είναι αυτή?
Αναρωτιέμαι πόσο χάσμα υπάρχει ανάμεσα στην διαστροφή του να βλέπεις
τον σύντροφό σου μπροστά στα μάτια σου να κάνει έρωτα με άλλον
όπως κάνουν αυτοί οι swingers, με το να μην τον
βλέπεις καθόλου όπως έλεγε η φίλη μου. Είναι τεράστιο το χάσμα? Τι προσπαθούμε
να διαχωρίσουμε, το πόσο χαοτική είναι η μια διαστροφή από την άλλη
και ποιος τελικά έχει δίκιο ή άδικο? Κοιτάμε το δέντρο και
χάνουμε το δάσος. Το νόημα είναι από που πηγάζουν αυτές οι ανάγκες.
Η πολυγαμική φύση του ανθρώπινου είδους είναι που γεννάει τέτοιες
διαφορετικές νοοτροπίες. Εάν σε προσωπικό επίπεδο δεν είσαι σε θέση να
εστερνιστείς τέτοιες νοοτροπίες, θα έπρεπε τουλάχιστον να είσαι σε θέση
να αποδεχθείς την γενετική, αν θέλεις να είσαι ρεαλιστής.
Τώρα που γράφω αυτό το κείμενο... βρίσκομαι σε σχέση, που σημαίνει πως αυτή
τη στιγμή που το διαβάζεις εσύ, θα είμαι ή ελεύθερος ή ρεαλιστής με
σπασμένα μούτρα. :Ρ
Όσο για εσάς, ένα ρητορικό ερώτημα.
Τι θα κάνατε αν αύριο βλέπατε κάποιον/α που θα γουστάρατε τρελά να κάνετε
σεξ μαζί του/της, θα ξέρατε πως θέλετε μόνο αυτό και τίποτα περισσότερο γιατί
είστε ειλικρινά καλά με τον σύντροφό σας και δεν το αλλάζατε με
τίποτα, ξέρατε πως δεν θα κατέκρινε απολύτως κανένας την απόφαση σας να κάνετε
καθαρά σαρκικό σεξ εφόσον το θέλατε, και θα συνεχίζατε να έχετε την ίδια
ευτυχισμένη ζωή με τον σύντροφο σας χωρίς κανένα πρόβλημα?
Μην ξεχνάμε να βάζουμε όνομα στα σχόλια μας...
(Υποβολή σχολίου ως ---> Όνομα/διεύθυνση URL
---> Γράφουμε όνομα ---> Αφήνουμε την Διεύθυνση URL κενή --->
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